I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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