Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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