that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
