That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
