Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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