you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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