a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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