I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize