btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
