Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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