This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
