Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
