can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
