This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
