why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
