did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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