Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
