I should be sponsored by Trojan
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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