you will always have a special place in my vag
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
