In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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