Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
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