GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
