Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
