I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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