i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Randomize
