did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
