Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize