She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I love how my cats smell like pot.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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