I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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