so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
