weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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