i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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