he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
