Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
