Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
