We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
