morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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