Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
