My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
