doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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