There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
