i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
