Kiss
Puke
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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