i would punch a child for taco bell
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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