How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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