i need an iv and a liver transplant
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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