she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
