I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Randomize
