Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Your dad touched me again.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
