Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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