did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He felt like a one man threesome
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
