Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
