He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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