Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize