Small penises have feelings too.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
