sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize