So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
