I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
