I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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