Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
