you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
