Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
