if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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