you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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