is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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