are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
