Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
