We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
