Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Pants are for mortals
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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