upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize