would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
