Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
